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Sunday, February 7, 2010

Back to Blogging...and a lot of it! Post #4

Another milestone passed. No more temporary marker.

I would never have imagined being anxious for my child's burial marker to come in, but I was. I was ready to have the milestone of seeing her name engraved on stone over with. It was both painful and peaceful. It is just such a beautiful name, I love seeing it surrounded by the bow on top and the flowers on the bottom.

I also would never have imagined being a person who would frequent a grave site, but I do. It is both painful and peaceful. Painful, of course, because Mariah is not with me, but peaceful, because I know without a doubt where her spirit is.

I never thought it would be possible to love a cemetery, but I do. Actually, Mariah's cemetery isn't like most. It isn't even called a cemetery, it's called a memorial garden. There aren't headstones sticking up anywhere out of the ground at all, those always sort of creeped me out. This "memorial garden" is intended to look like....well, a garden. All of the markers are laid flat into the earth, and all you see from the road are lots and lots of flowers sticking up out of the ground, That doesn't creep me out at all. I actually think it is very sweet, and if I had to bury a child, I am glad it is in a "garden". Her special place is actually set aside just for babies, it is even called "Baby Land". And in a wierd way, that makes me feel better, too. I am not the only one who has suffered such a devastating loss. When I go to visit Mariah's special place, I pray for the other broken hearts of the parents that laid thier babies to rest, just like me. It is both painful and peaceful.

And I never would have imagined I would think a grave marker or a cemetary could ever be considered lovely. But I do.

10 comments:

kim said...

You're the best Catherine......

Mhana said...

I have a special fondness for cemeteries too, though I don't have a grave to frequent. I found an old pioneer one near our house. It doesn't show up on city maps and it doesn't have many graves but there is something very sweet and peaceful about hiking up the hill to visit it. I'm glad your lambie has a place to rest with other babies.

Catherine said...

The marker is perfect and so beautiful, and you're right, she has a beautiful name. Is it weird that I look forward to being able to visit it with you sometime?

Sommer said...

It is perfect and beautiful. What a perfect little garden.

mom2beachbums said...

What a beautiful and perfect stone marker for a beautiful and perfect little girl. Loving thoughts and prayers are with you on sweet Mariah's 2 month birthday.

Cothran Family said...

I love the bow too. You are an amazing, wonderful woman. We love you.

Dawn said...

another mile stone lived through... it turned out very nicely.

When during your pregnancy did you pick out her name? Does it have a special meaning (maybe you have told me before but I forgot?)

The Washburns said...

I love Mariah's marker. It is perfect and beautiful. I love that you can only see flowers instead of stones too. What a beautiful resting place she is in.

Lynne said...

After having visited there with you, I agree. It is a beautiful and peaceful place to take time, each time, to look to the future and imagine her running through beautiful, blooming gardens, laughing and playing with us all.xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Nancy @ momjustlikeyou said...

Beautiful and yes, her name is beautiful, too. I visit Kara Faith's grave almost daily right now. (At least 4-5 times a week) We are waiting for the dogwood at her grave to bloom and are excited to see that new life.

Here's Kara Faith's marker:

http://sweetkarafaith.blogspot.com/2010/03/taking-refuge.html